I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize