Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
