We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
