you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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