you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
