I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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