I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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