Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
