Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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