remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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