Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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