remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
