Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
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