So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
