She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
