My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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