I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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