Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
