Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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