I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
that may or may not have been my penis.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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