I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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