Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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