i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
