My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Buhtt sex?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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