I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How does one acquire holy water?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
