Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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