he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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