he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
