sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
