True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
