i already hear my dad disowning me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
