the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
