yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize