Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And then my night got REAL pukey
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
