No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
