Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
