I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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