I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
