My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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