cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
