problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
