so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
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I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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