there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I am available for nakedness
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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