I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
