you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
