dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
