i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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