i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
soo... how was my night?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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