Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You can't just leave with hair like that
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
