Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
