I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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