Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
