true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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