So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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