Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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