I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
