I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
