Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
