Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I smell stomach acid.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
