I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
