kristin has been a bad kristin
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
