my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just found puke in my bra..
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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