You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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