i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
