Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
