Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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