But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This is the high leading the old right now
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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