On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
