and you said cock pushups were impossible
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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