At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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